Basic Introduction To BDSM

Author: MsPatty

What does BDSM stand for?
BDSM stands for Bondage, Domination/Discipline, Sadism/Submission, Masochism.

There are different elements of BDSM which are:

Dominance/submission (D/s): A lifestyle choice which involves personal power exchange. This exchange of personal power is given to another in exchange for guidance in desires which BDSM may be involved. The focus is Control not sex even though it may or may not be involved.

Bondage/Discipline (B/D): Is a sexual practice involving being tied up or otherwise restrained for pleasure. Discipline refers to the act of punishing or being punished. The focus depending on those involved can be sexual or non-sexual.

Sadism/Masochism (S/m): The practice of deriving pleasure from pain and humiliation inflicted on others, or on themselves. The focus is on Pain but can be sexual or non-sexual depending on those involved.

What is the difference between Roleplay and Lifestyle when it comes to D/s or BDSM?

Lifestyle is where D/s is a main element in day to day living. Where Roleplay is only involved sexually or to add "spice" to the relationship sexually. Roleplaying also takes place when those involved has various fetishes but does not wish to fully get involved in the lifestyle.

There are differences between Dominants and Tops as there is between submissives and bottoms.

A Top is a person who is looking for the physical interaction that is a part of BDSM but usually only for the interaction. A Top may assume some control during play but nothing beyond that.

A Dominant though is a person who also looks for the physical interaction but is motivated more by the psychological control and the emotional submission. The goal of the Dominant is to push both physical and psychological limits within his/her submissive as well as him/herself.

When looking at bottoms and submissives we can see while the bottom is looking for the interaction the true submissive is looking for the interaction, psychological control and the emotional submission as well.

Our last role shown is of the slave. The term slave is normally given to a submissive that is in a long-term D/s lifestyle relationship. It can also be used to describe a submissive that is looking for a long-term D/s relationship.

The term "switch" you may come across as well in cyberland. The traditional idea of a switch is a submissive that is placed or forced into the Dominant role. The reason may be because of his/her partner or because of the situation. A switch is a person that switches from Dominant to submissive depending on the situation or those involved. Keeping in mind I believe we are born either Dominant or submissive not both. And your true nature will tell you which role you truely find pleasure in.

Those living in the D/s lifestyle find peace within it. The goal isnt about personal gain or recognition but finding true peace within themselves. It is important to remember anything within the lifestyle is consensual. All those involved have limits. Everyone does. And these hard limits must be respected. Being a Dominant is NOT about someone catering to your every whim but taking on the responsability of guiding another towards their goals and desires. And lastly the bond between Dominant and submissive is built on trust, loyalty, open-communication and respect for both involved. And yes a bond must be involved. Without the bond its short lived.

©2004 The Leather Realm