Sissy Slut Gabrielle 2007

Weekly Journal Entry:


Thu Oct 24, 2007
I was a touch late arriving to our meeting as there was construction on the way that closed off the exit, requiring me to travel through unknown territory to get to my destination.  After a little sight-seeing trip, I finally arrived no worse for the wear!

MsPatty was ready to begin immediately as She directed me to the outfit that She preferred for me to wear.  I had been spending some time online viewing the "girl smoking" type video's and MsPatty wanted me to feel a little like the online girls did, so she immediately began turning me into the smoking slut that were the girls of my dreams!


This consisted of the white cotton panties, black slut bra, the "much too tight" blouse and "way too short" skirt.  The skirt had originally be a very usable length, but MsPatty decided that it needed shortening - to the tune of 12 additional inches.  While i find it exciting and taboo, it's also embarrassing to be "showing yourself" at any time due to the lack of covering.  My blushes are always obvious.  The outfit is finished with white cotton anklet socks and patent leather Mary Jane shoes.
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Now I have to tell you, it's one thing to view the ladies smoking excessively for my viewing pleasure, it's another whole thing to be forced to imitate them.  After a short while of being the "smoking slut" type for MsPatty, i began getting a bit dizzy, and She took pity on me (temporarily) by letting me take a short break.. 
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However, it was not a reprieve, as we picked up right where we left off with MsPatty using my lungs to filter the tar and nicotine out of the air, while also using my hot-spots which prevented me from resisting with any success. It's one of those double edged swords we subs go through, we hate it, but we love it.  The more She made me smoke for Her, the more i did/didn't want Her to keep pushing it!
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After MsPatty had insured that i had smoked up enough for the moment, She had me remove the blouse and get down on the floor in order to introduce me to the most degrading tool in Her arsenal: Scat play.
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To insure that i couldn't get away effectively, MsPatty restrained me using a spreader bar attached to my wrists and secured behind the legs of her "humility bench."  This indeed held me face up and helpless for whatever She preferred to do next.
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She began to "decorate" me with an extraordinary amount of brown.  It seemed as if She had saved it up for a month!  My face was covered, my balls were coated, and since i didn't have any tits in my bra, MsPatty decided to create some.  She filled the cups with handsful of brown, and THEN began to "play" with my newly arrived tits, feeling the cups of the bra and pushing Her finger down until She had squished through to my nipples, where She proceeded to knead my hot-spots until i was clattering the spreader bar against base that was holding me in place.

Respectfully submitted,

gabrielle

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10-09-07: i set out for my ordered appearance, but got backed up by work duties.  Fortunately for me, MsPatty was understanding and didn't threaten to remove parts of my anatomy due to the tardiness.

After arriving, She had my "uniform" ready for me.  She's fully aware that the forced-fem fantasy is one of my favorites, but She works very hard to be sure that i don't get too "comfy" in my setting.

i had found a blouse at a local outlet, but it turned out to be a little too small.  Now us guys know that we LOVE for girls to get into tops that are a little too small for our visual pleasure.  Well, MsPatty has a nasty habit of taking my "male" fantasies and turning them around on me and making me re-create them with myself in my "fantasy female" role, which i have found, makes me just a bit uncomfortable.

Sure, i LOVE seeing a cute chick in a "too tight" outfit, and i have a smoking fetish that is severe..  The sight of a school girl with a pack of cigarettes pushing out of a white blouse pocket as she seriously smokes (let's hear it for YouTube!), while possibly playing with her tits.. and whoohooie, make my day.

Well, MsPatty figured what's good for the goose is good for the gander, and in this case, She's very insistent on exploring my fantasy women from the role-reversal mode.  In other words, She's going to let ME be the fantasy "gurl" that i long to see..  She prepares for my training by putting me into a real school girl uniform.  Not those silly "fantasy" outfits, where i could easily justify that "it's not like it's for real, its just fantasy play," OH NO, MsPatty has me in a real normal uniform. 

Sometimes it's a V-neck type jumper, sometimes just the pleated skirt, complete with the white cotton hi-rise panties, white cotton anklets, the white two-pocket blouse (i'll explain that later), a BLACK bra (that shows through the blouse, although i have a feeling that a sheerer "see through" blouse may be in my future to further make the contrasting color show through more clearly), and the "coupe de grace," a pair of authentic Mary Jane type pumps.

Again, these shoes are NOT the "stiletto fantasy" type drag shoes, where again, i could wrap my mind around "it's just for play," but these are the real deal, the patent leather shiny black pumps with the thin ankle straps, a bow on the front and some added beadwork. 

Thus attired, MsPatty has me into the "schoolgirl" look, but She takes it further.  She wants the ultimate smoking schoolgirl slut.  And since i'm the only one there, i'm elected.  Once again, while i really get off seeing girls in this situation, being put into it myself with no effective means of escape, makes me feel a little on the embarrassed side.  i try, of course, to act like, "hey, this is fun, it's no big deal," but MsPatty notes that my feet tend to tap on the floor (the familiar sound that cute little schoolgirl shoes make..), i have the blouse buttoned all the way up, and i tend to try to "chat" aimlessly to distract from the position i'm in.

This night, She wanted to try to add the slutty red lipstick to "the look."  i complied, but i wasn't really into it.. fortunately, MsPatty didn't use my "secret hot-spots" to make me get really into it, even though it really wasn't my particular cup-o-tea!  We also tried some gloves, but i have REALLY huge hands, and the fingers only made it partially up my hand.  However, if MsPatty wants it, MsPatty gets it!

Of course, to this point, it's just the fully dressed look.  In order to add the "smoking" element (i'm a real-life NON-smoker!), She hands me an unopened pack of Marlboro Red 100's.  No "lites" or "ultralites.." i make the mistake (well, it wasn't really a mistake, i'm just lousy at holding information back) of telling Her about the videos that made me the hottest were of the girls smoking the full strength Red and Green 100's..  When i first came up to meet MsPatty, i think i put the idea in her head when i said something to the effect of, "well, they are just little girls, if they can take it, i can't imagine that i couldn't.."

MsPatty is nothing if not attentive to detail.  She instructs me to take out a cigarette from the new pack, light it, and then put the pack and lighter in the blouse pocket (so it sticks out like the girls in my videos). 

i have a weakness, in that i have EXTREMELY sensitive nipples.  Just rubbing them, especially through light material like a silky shirt or (in my current situation) bra, acts like a "hot button."  i'm a non-smoker, so i'm not really motivated to do a lot of real inhaling or such.  BUT, if MsPatty touches my nipples, or worse, instructs ME to do it myself, they act like a "force me" button.  Small little "baby puffs" turn into cheek hollowing lungs full of smoke billowing into the room.  And MsPatty is surely a "waste not want not" type of Person.  i'll get about 3/4 of the way finished, and look to Her with those "can i put it out now?" sad eyes, but sure as heck, She is going to make sure that i get to "experience" all the "fun" my fantasy girls have, smoking right down to the filter before letting my put it out.

As i had mentioned earlier, i had a blouse on with two chest pockets.  Well, MsPatty NEVER does anything "half-way," so her next step was to hand me a brand new pack of Marlboro Green (Menthol) 100's, and after lighting up, i was ordered to put the second pack in my OTHER pocket, the pack which now stuck out grotesquely, as the blouse was way too tight, so the cigarettes stuck out prominently.  As a non-smoker, it really isn't comfy for anyone to actually SEE us carrying cigarettes around (after all, we've been taught how forbidden and taboo it is, and only "bad girls" smoke), and MsPatty is never shy about taking any activity to it's fullest level.  So now it's alternating between Red and Green, and letting my mouth taste really evil.

Meanwhile, She gets a kick out of seeing the white panties sticking out below the skirt, so She will inevitably order me to pull the skirt up so that She can "see," and also begins turning the very proper uniform into a slut outfit by unbuttoning the blouse, to "showoff" the black bra to Her satisfaction and entertainment, my obvious discomfort..

This continues until She's ready to explore some other fun facets of the lifestyle.  This DOESN'T mean i get to shed the girly clothes, of course, it just means that She's going to push me further along as Her "slutty girl."

This particular night, She's had me give her a "smoking fetish show," until my lungs were crying for mercy, and then decided to see how I would react to a new experience.

First, She blindfolded me (my head is too big for the hood), and duct taped my arms to the chair, effectively both immobilizing me as well as giving me the feeling of total helplessness.  It worked!  She was now free to play with me like She would a toy doll, picking, poking, and playing anywhere She wished and i could literally just take it.

This caused a bit of a "mood reversal," as while my nipples cause me no little discomfort when rubbed, licked, or nibbled, or other uncomfortable manipulation like toothbrushes, hot-rubs like Ben Gay, but if they are pulled or twisted to the point of pain, it completely shuts me down..  Anything that was hard has become soft, any sub-space that i have flown to instantly crashes away.  i can't explain why, but the same thing that can be an "activity forcer" turns into an "off button" when it passes the "discomfort" realm into "ouches."

But, hey, that's part of the training and growing process..  In order to punish me for my "shutdown," She decided, "OK, you want 'em rubbed, let's RUB 'em," and proceeded to work them for like an hour while i was restrained and unable to get away..  Not that i didn't TRY.  MsPatty kept ordering me to "sit back up," as i was sliding down and trying to "slide away" from the manipulation of those sensitive "hot-spots" on me.. Since i cried "OWWW!" when She pinched, She was going to literally drive me out of my mind while trying to "wear them out."  Unfortunately, they DON'T wear out, which means that every time She touched them, it sent almost an electrical charge through me.  And since they weren't "wearing out" from constant usage, i was just going crazy, trying to thrash right and left, and sliding up and down.. i couldn't do much more than that.  First, i couldn't see, so i couldn't tell where She was going next.  Also, i was very effectively restrained, so i also couldn't "get away." 

It was truly a heavenly torture!  Kind of that "i don't want more," but i do, but it's driving me nuts, but it feels so good, but.....  i swear, i have never met anyone so thoroughly effective at the "mindfuck" in my life as MsPatty.  And the worst part is that She enjoys it thoroughly, so it's not like She's just "working the sub," since it's truly fun for Her, She REALLY works me over extremely well..

i thought that maybe i'd "get loose" now.. but nooooooo, there was more MsPatty wanted to experiment since i was basically in no position to argue.. She grabbed "something" and pulled out my cock.  "Whooohooo," i thought, i get some sex, ALRIGHT!

WRONG.  Instead of anything that resembled a sexual touch, MsPatty began to "attach things" to me.  i had NO idea what, but i'm always up for new experiences, so i just tried to identify the sensation.  At first, i though maybe they were IcyHot patches, or something like that, as i "imagined" i was feeling some sort of sensation from whatever was being "attached" to me.  One, two, three on the shaft, another one or two on the head..  What the heck?

All of a sudden i heard a "click" of a mechanical switch, and then i began to feel a "creepy crawly" sensation on the shaft.  Then it switched to the head, then both and then slowly stronger and stronger..  She had hooked me up to an electrical unit!

NOW i remembered that when i submitted a BDSM checklist to her prior to our initial meeting, that i had indicated that i had never tried electrical play, but i was intrigued by it.  WELL, that's like waving a "do it to me, i DARE you" sign in front of MsPatty, and She was definitely having fun watching me twitch and "oooh" and "aah" and "OHMIGAWD" when She gave me a playful "ZZZAP!" when i was getting too comfortable!

It was actually an really fun time as i tried to see how much i could take.  She told me that i had reached a 4-5 out of 8, which i guess is ok for a "first timer," but it's definitely something that She said that She'll want to take further..  Next time, She wants to put pads on my nipples to see if She can electrically "run me up the wall."  The only problem i can see with that, of course, is that if it DOES, i will probably be buying Her replacement batteries by the case..  Until, of course, She takes best advantage of it by forcing me to be enthusiastic about activities that i would rather NOT be enthusiastic about..  But my basic problem is that those damned sensitive nipples just push me further than my normal "comfort zone" takes me!  If i'm complaining about the smoke and taking it REALLY easy, MsPatty just has me rub away, and i'm filling the room with smoke like a chain smoking slut.

"Thus endeth the lesson," and our time had come to and end for this evening.  One of the things She mentioned to me in closing was that we are possibly going to delve into the "poo makeup" at the next meeting.  i must confess that i have been curious just how far She will take brown activities (as we have yet to delve into that arena), but somehow, i get the feeling that my "taunting hints" i keep dropping may possibly come back to another one of MsPatty's signature "watch out what you wish for" moments.  It's an activity that has intrigued and excited me, although i had yet to have any solid real life experience.  Well, to be SURE, MsPatty has never been conservative with any of Her favorite activities, and since this is listed on Her "Favorite Interests" list, i do have the distinct feeling that She will take me to places that i never thought of going! 

The other area that has been heavy in my desires is being forced into some seriously heavy duty bi type activities, especially oral.  The idea of being forced to act as the oversexed cocksucker has been one of my darker fantasies, along with rape-fantasy and an oral gang-bang ("forced," of course, would allow me to live in that "i didn't WANT to, but She MADE me," sub-space, whereas a "voluntary" oral slut gangbang takes away my safety net, as i have to play the "happy horny cocksucker" slut that entertains MsPatty so well.  And MsPatty tends to be absolutely CERTAIN that i entertain Her THOROUGHLY.  So we will see how this plays out in the future if MsPatty decides that once again to mindfuck me with "be careful what you wish for.." (SOUND EFFECT: MsPatty's maniacal laugh echoing throughout the skies.)

i will look forward to our next session with anticipation, excitement and at the same time quite a bit of nervousness.

With MsPatty, while She will work Her expertise to make me feel tentative, helpless and very unlike my normal "cocky self," there is NEVER a feeling other than utter safety.  True, MsPatty will push everything until i wanna cry "uncle," but while She wears my ass out, at no time do i feel any danger.   And unfortunately, MsPatty is VERY adept at protecting the safety angle, while at the same time pushing everything past the "comfort" level.   Sadly, from the sub angle is that i never feel pushed anywhere near using a safeword, but i feel VERY pushed into whining, begging and pleading for Her to have mercy on me!

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